Just realized my neighbor's lawn care obsession might be a cover

I live on Maple Street in Columbus and my neighbor Gary waters his lawn every single night at 11pm sharp, even in the rain. One time I asked him about it and he got all nervous and said, 'It's just important to keep the soil moist for the grubs.' Tbh, who cares about grubs that much? I'm starting to think he's buried something out there or running some kind of signal from his shed. Has anyone else noticed weirdly timed lawn habits from someone?

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wade5582mo ago

My neighbor two doors down on Maple mows his lawn at 3am in complete darkness with no headlights, which I only know because my dog wakes me up barking at the shadow figure. One time I joked that he was hiding a body, and he deadpan replied, "The pH balance of the soil matters more than you know" before walking away. Not saying Gary's hiding anything, but my neighbor has definitely made me question my own sanity for obsessively checking my sprinkler timer at 2am every night.

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fisher.diana2mo ago

@gwade558 I literally gasped when I got to the pH balance part, that is some next level cryptic stuff right there. Are we sure Gary isn't secretly running a midnight landscaping operation or testing soil samples for some underground gardening cult? Honestly the scariest part is how casually he dropped that line and just walked away like it was totally normal.

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noahcampbell2mo ago

Honestly this is just how suburban dads communicate now.

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